How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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