i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
