so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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