I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
