Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
we should paint friendship bongs
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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