No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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