I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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