i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
