found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
