I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
