Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
