it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
