Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
