i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
