Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Randomize
