Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
