It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
