"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
