I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
