and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
