i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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