That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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