About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
