if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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