I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I believe in your delicious
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
