So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just had sex on a roof
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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