apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
