just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
you never un-have a 4some
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
