Porn is love you can see.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
