I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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