I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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