drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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