i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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