these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
