you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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