I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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