At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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