I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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