hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
