turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
