I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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