Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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