im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
