For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
