Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
