just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
