i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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