it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
