He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
