He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Someone signed my nipple.
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