He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
