I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize