Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
