Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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